I love this question, though it probably belongs over at TechLore rather than here at DVRplayground, but answers are good regardless of where you get them. :-) In fact, I may publish this as an "Ask The Experts" article on the TechLore site over the next few days.

Anyway, your husband is not going insane. This is a common misbelief that's held over from the days of VHS. On a VHS machine, pausing the tape kept the same segment of tape rubbing against the playback drum, which if done for a long enough time could wear that spot in the tape. This could cause any number of picture and sound hiccups, or worse, cause the tape to break. YIKES!

DVD is a different animal all together. Since there is no physical contact between the DVD and the pickup (everything is done with light), the DVD can't be worn or hurt by being on pause. You can play a DVD 1000 times, and it'll play just like new every time as long as you handle the disc properly.

Some say that leaving the DVD player on pause keeps the DVD player's spindle turning (which is true), thereby unnecessarily wearing the DVD player's motor, but nearly all DVD players continue to turn the disc for 1-3 minutes after you press stop so you don't have to wait through a five second spin-up when you press play. So, unless you need to pause for more than 5 minutes, there's no difference in wear.

Others will say that leaving it on pause keeps the laser on. I've never been able to get a "confirmed answer on this" from a manufacturer, but I would assume that if paused it could shut the laser off and just repeat the frame from a frame buffer. Even so, running the laser a few extra minutes so you can make more popcorn isn't going to make a real difference in the laser's lifespan. Like with the spindle motor, use the stop command if you'll be pausing for a significant amount of time.

You can tell your husband that it's perfectly fine to use the pause button if you need to get a snack, use the bathroom, or answer the phone. If you need to pick up the kids, go to work, or go on vacation, take his advice and use the stop button.

You can also see your question published on TechLore as an "Ask The Experts" question. You, of course, get credit for asking the question. Here's a link: http://www.techlore.com/article/14092/